What is masculinity? In our society, it is seen as the way to “man up”. Men are labelled as strong and women as weak. This is our education, implanted in our subconscious. Since they are born, young boys are told certain rules that they must follow to become real men. Rules such as to avoid whatever emotion because that makes them women. Repulsed by women’s vulnerability, men are taught to lack emotion. Educated to be strong and to never cry. Masculinity is defined as the tough, strong man that punches away his problems. So why do we then get shocked by men’s behaviour? They were programmed to this narrow thought.
Are we lacking masculinity?
Society is slowly changing however not fast enough. Men are still harassed. They are told that to show emotions is feminine or gay. As if these two words were insults. This mere act is revolting, the degrading of others to become taller. We are creating robots, humans ashamed to feel, forced to show physical strength as well as shine confidence. An unrealistic expectation for men. This so-called masculine men eventually can´t relate to their partner. They label the showing of emotions as dramatic and are too scared to feel every moment with their heart.
What are we creating?
Lost humans that feel shame. Ashamed that they feel, struggling to drown this part of them. Conflicted with what they wish being a man could be and what it is. Broken without their knowledge. Men grow up wanting others to like them but to do so they must be this toxic prototype. A reflection of the same man lacking personality.
How can we change?
As Justin Baldoni instructed in a recent Ted talk, men must learn with the women that surround them. A balance is needed and for that, we must see what is wrong with us. There is a beauty in strength but a braveness in showing emotion. Forget the traditional meaning of masculinity. You don´t need to hunt or fight to be a man, you need to be strong within. The problem is that men are scared to be real. To admit to their closest friends what they fear, what they desire or just what is boiled up inside them. Define your own masculinity. To actually be a man you must feel.
