Life ends up being a connection between relationships with constant interactions. To maintain these relationships from being toxic or actually ending up we have to follow four simple rules. The basic four golden rules are to apologize, forgive, listen and pay attention. Below I will explain the why´s of this simple rules. One may think they are too obvious to explain but they are actually overlooked by the majority of us.
Rules 1 & 2: Apologize with heart and forgive sincerely
Most of us end up leaving arguments turn into rage by not solving the issue. We are ok with not having the need to make things great again. Life is made of different opinions and values this always leads to a few arguments but the worst we can do is to not talk about it. The golden rule starts here; never forget to say sorry. When you do apologize you also must do it with your heart. Apologize for your attitude if you were rude. Own your actions because this shows courage. Apologize for what you did instead of just saying sorry. The power of this word only actually heals if it not said as an excuse to move on. So when you do apologize be specific. Just say you are sorry and don’t try to find an excuse for your behaviour. Don’t feel the need for an apology in return if you both were wrong. Do your part. Don’t just wait for something back. When you do say you are sorry ask what you can do to make things right. Actually ask instead of doing what you think is best. Communication is very important. This can also be a subrule in the four golden rules.
Don’t hold grudges. It is unhealthy for you as well as for your relationships. Understand the person by talking to them until you feel better. Accept someone´s sorry even if it hurts. Make them work for your trust but forgive them. Having a constant grudge is unhealthy for your mental health. You need to forgive to move on in your life.
Rules 3 & 4: Chose to listen and pay attention to the words
It is important to listen by carefully paying attention when someone talks. We tend to talk a lot about us, interrupt people without noticing, we don´t even notice that it is something disrespectful to do because we don’t take time to actually listen to someone. While listening pay attention to what the person is saying. Ask various questions and some days later show that person you remember what they told you. The best feeling is to feel heard, seen in a way. Nowadays it´s so hard to expect people to listen, they are absorbed by technology while having egocentric personalities. This truth actually saddens people. It is so nice to know that someone has heard you. Be the beautiful person that cares and shares.
